Courtney Gilmore Have you ever met someone who is great at their job, but their homelife is a mess? These people are good leaders, they are respected, and they are successful in every way – at work. But at home, their spouse doesn’t respect or follow them and neither do their children. Truth be told, they don’t feel very successful at accomplishing much of anything where their family is concerned. Maybe you know someone like this. You may even look that person in the mirror every day. Whether it’s you or someone you know, it’s hard to understand how someone can be received so differently.
But think about it. We know what’s required of us at our job, we receive immediate payment for our work, and we get off at the end of the day. It is much easier to do well in that environment.
But the specifics of being married and raising children are not as clear, and that job never ends. It is all consuming and we may not see the effects of our labor for years. Because of this, it’s easy to get discouraged and lax at home, not putting in the thought and effort required.
At first, we may not notice any problems. We just go through each day, doing what has to be done. Then, all of the sudden, we wake up one day and wonder why we fight so much with our spouse and how our children became so unruly.
Now What?
Whether you have felt this on a large scale or a small one, I assume everyone has been at this place at some point in their life. This has happened to me many times as a matter of fact. So, the question is not whether we’re always as purposeful as we should be or if we’re working at it like we should. The question is what we do about it when we realize what’s happening.
Once we’ve reached this point, unfortunately it will take even more thought and effort to turn things around than it would’ve before. This can make the situation feel overwhelming and maybe even hopeless. So, sometimes, instead of taking responsibility and drawing our family closer, we distance ourselves, so we don’t have to stare our failure in the face or figure out how to fix it.
Eli and Samuel
Eli and Samuel both followed God and were great at their jobs. As the high priest, Eli performed his duties before the Lord faithfully. Samuel trained under him and became a great judge and prophet in Israel. They were both highly regarded by everyone. But their sons were another story.
Eli’s sons used their position as priests for selfish gain, and they took advantage of the people. Samuel’s sons were unjust judges who took bribes and ruled according to their own benefit. The people told them how displeased they were with their sons and said they did not want these men to lead them after their fathers died. Eli’s sons were so corrupt that the people had to tell them what God commanded, and they begged Eli to do something about their scandalous ways. Then, in Samuel’s case, they asked for a king, so they didn’t have to live under his sons as judges.
Instead of taking responsibility for their failures, both of them ran away from the problem. Eli confronted his sons about their sin, but when they continued in it, he did nothing to stop them. Finally, God had to step in because their father refused.
Then, Samuel sent his sons to towns far away from him to judge the people without any oversight or guidance. After the people told him they wanted a king instead of his sons, he should’ve brought them closer so he could teach them to do better. But instead, he just kind of wrote them off and tried to persuade the people from having a king.
Do the Hard Thing
We may not want to admit it, but sometimes we’re tempted to do the same thing. It’s hard to punish our children, especially when we have let it get out of hand, because we have to be much harsher than we would like to be at that point.
No chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful. Nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11
It’s also easy to become apathetic and just let everything stay the same, even though we know it’s headed in the wrong direction. But we can’t fall into that trap because our marriage is important and we’re responsible for how our children grow up.
The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 29:15
Your Most Important Job
You will never have a more important job than the one you have at home with your family. So, treat it like a job and work hard at it. If you were losing respect at work, no one was listening to you anymore, and your last several projects failed, you wouldn’t just lock yourself in the office and hope no one noticed. If you were at risk of losing your job, you wouldn’t just say it’s too late. You would try to figure out what you did wrong, and you would work to do better.
So, don’t give any less to your family. It’s not too late. With God’s help you can always turn things around. Start by putting God first in your life. Then, make Him the center of your family.
Hear, O Israel. The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
These words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children. Talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
It may take a little while to see the fruits of your labor. But if you will put forth the effort, you will receive no greater reward.
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
3 John 1:4
Links
You can Watch or Listen to all recent and future blog posts as devotions on LivethruJesus Weekly Devotions Channel on Podcast or YouTube and Substack.
This is inspired by “Rejecting God as King” which is about the Israelites asking for a King like all the other nations in 1 Samuel 8. But in this chapter we also learn that like Eli, Samuel is a great minister of the Lord but he has not taught his sons to be godly men. You can Watch or Listen to it on YouTube, Podcast, or study it on Substack.
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