Courtney Gilmore I take you to have and to hold from this day forward. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.
Marriage Vows
These words aren’t just part of a ceremony where we get dressed up and have a big party with our friends. We are proclaiming before God and other witnesses to be faithful to this person forever, no matter what. It’s the outward profession of our love. We make this promise in front of everyone we care about because it holds more weight than just privately saying we love each other and we want to be together forever. Then we sign papers to bind it and register them with the state.
These witnesses are supposed to hold us accountable when things aren’t going well, when we no longer feel love towards them, when we don’t want to cherish them, when we think someone else might make us happier, or we are discontent in any other way. They should say, “I was at that church, and I heard you promise before God that you would love and cherish each other until death. You must find a way.” But if your witnesses fail, then the state is supposed to step in and hold you to the promise. That’s why they are involved in the first place.
You don’t have a choice anymore. Love is no longer just a feeling. You promised to love them, so you must remind yourself why you do. It’s no longer an option to be with someone else because you promised to be with only them. If you cherish them, as you promised, you could never do that anyway. You made your choice when you made your promise. So, honor it!
Choose Whom You Will Serve
Before Joshua died, he reminded the Israelites of everything God had done for them. He called Abraham to a foreign land and promised to give it to his descendants if he would only follow Him. The Lord rescued them from slavery and protected, preserved, and provided for them in the desert. Then, He defeated all their enemies and gave them the abundant land He had promised Abraham.
I have given you a land for which you did not labor, and cities which you did not build, and you dwell in them. You eat of the vineyards and olive groves which you did not plant.
Joshua 24:13
Then Joshua said that because God had done all this for them, they should serve Him sincerely, truthfully, and faithfully. But…
if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Joshua 24:15
First, Joshua told them why they should serve the Lord. After that, He made it clear that He was fully committed to Him. Then, he told them to make a choice. Immediately, they declared that they, too, would serve the Lord.
Far be it from us that we should forsake the Lord to serve other gods. The Lord our God is He who brought us and our fathers up out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage, who did those great signs in our sight, and preserved us in all the way that we went and among all the people through whom we passed. The Lord drove out from before us all the people, including the Amorites who dwelt in the land. We also will server the Lord. He is our God.
Joshua 24:16-18
The Consequences of Their Choices
But Joshua was about to die, and he needed them to understand the consequences of their choices. So, he told them that God is holy and jealous. If they betray Him with other gods, He will be hurt and angry, just like the partner of an unfaithful spouse. So, if they pledged themselves to Him, they should remain faithful.
He wouldn’t stop them if they changed their minds and turned to other gods. If they chose to betray Him, He would let them. They had a choice. But each choice had its own set of consequences. If they were faithful, they would live in the land and enjoy it. But if they were unfaithful, they could no longer stay in the land God had given them. If they wanted to serve other gods, they could go live in their lands and see what those gods could do for them.
They all vowed to serve the Lord again. So, he told them to hold each other accountable. They had each heard their fellow citizens make a lifelong commitment to serve the Lord. After they agreed, Joshua told them to put away any foreign god and set their hearts on God forever. Then, he made a monument as an additional witness of their lifelong commitment to Him.
Joshua asked them to commit themselves before God and man, as a preacher does with a husband and wife. Then, he added the monument as another witness, like we do when we register our marriage with the state. These stood as witnesses against anyone who dared not to follow through on their commitment.
Don’t Just Take the Benefits
A woman should not be allowed to stay in the house with her husband if she is cheating on him. She shouldn’t benefit from his money and possessions or the joy of being a family. If she wants the other man, she should go and see what he can give her. But she will lose what she has with her husband. She must make a choice. She can’t receive the benefits from both men while being responsible and faithful to neither.
Likewise, the husband shouldn’t get to have a mistress, and the benefit of a wife who cooks, cleans, and cares for him and the kids. She may seem better because she doesn’t nag or fight, and because she gives him everything the wife doesn’t. But she also gives him none of the things his wife does, and she’s only free from negativity because she doesn’t live or share responsibilities with him.
Sometimes, we want God’s benefits but not His rules. We want His salvation, blessings, provision, and protection, but we don’t want to live according to His ways. When we need something, we call on Him and want Him to answer our prayers, but we never talk to Him or spend time with Him otherwise. We want to live with Him in heaven but disregard Him on earth. We may not even think about His will unless we want something for ourselves.
But this isn’t Christianity. We cannot just make Him our Savior. We must also make Him our Lord.
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. It is with your heart you believe and are justified. It is with your mouth you profess your faith and are saved.
Romans 10:9-10
Choose Him and Remain Faithful
It’s your choice. But, if you choose God, be faithful. He loves you. Love Him in return. Do not take His benefits while flirting with the things of this world.
Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously?”
James 4:4-5
He will let you turn to them. But if you do, you will reap what they hold instead of what your Heavenly Father offers you.
Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. He who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption. But he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
Galatians 6:7-8
Either commit yourself to Him or don’t. But you can’t have it both ways, and you can’t remain neutral.
Whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 10:32-33
So, will you commit to Him fully and publicly today? Will you listen when people try to hold you to your promise? Likewise, will you be a witness for others to ensure they keep their commitment, too?
I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his trickery, your minds will be led astray from sincere and pure devotion to Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:2-3
Links
This is an excerpt from “Choose This Day Whom You Will Serve” as taught on YouTube or Podcast or as written on Substack. Read the beginning of the lesson for free, or in its entirety, along with over 35 previous lessons. Once subscribed, you’ll receive one lesson each week thereafter for $6/month or $60/year.
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