Courtney Gilmore “God why are you treating me this way?! Don’t you love me? I have done everything you asked. Why have you put such a burden on me? I was perfectly happy before You called me to this. I never wanted to lead these people. They are not my children, yet traveling with them is like having millions of nursing babies attached and dependent on me continuously. I cannot provide them what they want. Like toddlers they cry & whine to me, with no understanding of my limitations. This is too much! I cannot carry this weight alone. The burden is too heavy for me. If it is going to be like this every day of this journey, I think I would rather die. Yes, if you care about me at all, you’ll just kill me & put me out of my misery.”
My paraphrase of Moses’s prayer in Numbers 11:10-15
That’s pretty dramatic, right? But be honest. Has there ever been a time in your life, that if you were to completely give in to your own feelings, you could hear yourself saying parts of that? Maybe you’ve actually said something similar or at least thought something similar. Have you ever wondered why God would give His children such a hard life? Doesn’t it seem like horrible situations should only be experienced by evil people? You’re a good person. You follow God & do what you’re supposed to. If you sow goodness, shouldn’t you also reap it? Why do bad things still happen to good people? Why does He let them happen to His people? Here’s a little wisdom from King Solomon, the wisest man on earth.
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die, a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted, a time to kill, and a time to heal, a time to break down, and a time to build up, a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance, a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones, a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to gain, and a time to lose, a time to keep, and a time to throw away, a time to tear, and a time to sew, a time to keep silence, and a time to speak, a time to love, and a time to hate, a time of war, and a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Consider the work of God, for who can make straight what He has made crooked? In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other, so that man can find out nothing that will come after him. I have seen everything in my days of vanity: There is a just man who perishes in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man who prolongs life in his wickedness.
Ecclesiastes 7:13-15
The Israelites were asking Moses to give them meat like they had in Egypt. There were millions of them, in the wilderness, and they wanted him to provide them with meat. That was impossible! Moses did not have that capability. They were asking for things that he had no ability to give.
Have you ever had others looking to you for answers or solutions that you couldn’t give? At that moment, you become acutely aware of your own limitations & it can be a helpless & hopeless feeling. When they demand the impossible from you, turn to the One with all the answers and all the power to fulfill them.
But Jesus looked at them & said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Matthew 19:26
Maybe like Moses, you have responsibilities that you didn’t ask for or a burden that wasn’t really yours to carry, yet somehow it has fallen on you. It could be that you suddenly find yourself raising your grandchild. Or maybe you are doing the job of several people either because the ones responsible aren’t doing their part or there is no one to do it so all the work has fallen on you. Maybe your spouse was injured, or deployed, or passed away and all of the sudden you are thrown into the role of mom and dad.
Or maybe there is just something that so burdens your heart that it rules all your thoughts & actions? Maybe it’s money, or your marriage, a child, health issues, or an addiction. There are many scenarios where we can feel the weight of a constant, seemingly never ending, all-consuming burden?
Moses dramatically asked God just to kill him if it was going to be like this for the rest of his life. That does sound dramatic unless you have ever felt something so perpetual or heavy that you would do almost anything to make it stop. At that moment nothing else really matters to you anymore. This is when we give up on the marriage, or give in to that addiction, or quit going to the doctor for answers. Even King David felt like this at times.
How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?
Psalm 13:1-2
My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are You so far from helping Me, and from the words of My groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear, and in the night season and am not silent. But You are holy, enthroned in the praises of Israel. Our fathers trusted in You. They trusted, and You delivered them. They cried to You and were delivered. They trusted in You and were not ashamed.
Psalm 22:1-5
God, how long until do something about this? Have you ever asked that question? I have. David sounded so desperate and then he switches and reminds himself that God can be trusted. Moses also knew he couldn’t handle the burden of the people alone, so He went to God.
What about you? Do you go to Him in your desperation, or do you try to solve the problem on your own? Do you cry out to the Lord for help, or do you just sit down & cry? Do you place your hope in Him, or do you give up? Unlike Moses or like us, God is not overwhelmed by our dependence on Him. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. He wants us to lean on Him. And who better to go to for help than the King of all Heaven and Earth.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalm 46:1
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you & learn from Me, for I am gentle & lowly in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time. Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7
This is not heaven. Life is full of seasons. Some are wonderful, some are horrible, and much of them are somewhere in between. On this earth, we are not exempt from life’s struggles. But the gift God does assure His children, mirrors the one he gave to Abraham. It is a promised land, an inheritance when we leave this earth. This new heavenly land will have no sin, no burdens, no heartbreak. We will not feel overwhelmed or reach our breaking point there. Heaven is our reward for persevering through the hard times on this earth and relying on God in the midst of them. So no matter what you are going through right now hold on, look to God for strength, and then look forward to the better day that you know is coming either in this life or the next.
I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son.
Revelation 21:1-7
Excerpt from Episode 86 “Heavy Burdens” on Podcast and YouTube
