Courtney Gilmore Being happy is very important to most of us. Our decisions are often based on what makes us happy, and we will quickly resist anything that might interfere with our happiness. Then, the current culture reinforces that tendency by telling us that not only is it a want, but a need. Actually, it’s a right. Yes, you have the right to be happy.
If you start to question how far the narrative has gone and maybe wonder if you are being a little bit selfish, they say, “You won’t be good for anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first.” This makes sense. Others are important, but so are you.
But wait. What about God? Does He want me to put my happiness first? Well, of course. Why wouldn’t a loving God want you to be happy? Every good and caring father wants his children to be happy, and you’re God’s child after all.
So, there you go. Now you have permission to do whatever it takes to make yourself happy. It’s good for everyone, and surely God understands that sometimes a few concessions have to be made, right?
What the World Will Tell You
It’s alright if you cheat your boss out of a couple of hours pay. He can afford it and you can’t live without a full paycheck. The rich should be paying more in taxes anyway. Then maybe you wouldn’t have to work so hard at a job that you hate.
If you miss church on Sunday because you’re too tired from the day before, God understands. He knows how bad you’ve been needing a night out and you need your rest this morning too. Or, if you’re asked to work on Sunday morning, you should do it. God wants you to be able to pay your bills and it’s important to have a good reputation at the office.
God can’t expect you to stay with someone that doesn’t love you or treat you well. He wouldn’t want you to be miserable for the rest of your life. Besides, the kids will be much better off with two parents that love them and live apart, than with parents that fight all the time. Or, your husband takes you for granted. He doesn’t make you feel pretty or important the way that other man does. It’s been years since you’ve felt this kind of love and happiness. Your husband never pays any attention to you anyway, so he shouldn’t care if you find someone else.
You’re not ready for a baby. You’re too young. The baby will get in the way of your career. It’s alright to terminate this pregnancy. You can have another baby later when you’re ready. That’s really what’s best for the child too. By then, you’ll be in a loving relationship and financially stable. God wouldn’t want you to raise a child this young or deny yourself a career just because you happen to get pregnant right now.
Obeying God
They all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 2:21
All of these concessions for our happiness are made at the expense of obeying God. The Ten Commandments were all given to help us think more about God and others and not ourselves. The world says that it’s okay to put yourself first. But God says that’s self- idolatry. Instead, we should worship Him alone, keep His Sabbaths, and treat His name with the respect it deserves. He is first! Then, He wants us to think about others. In doing this, we put ourselves last.
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:3-4
So, does God not care about our happiness then? Of course He does. But it’s not His primary concern. God wants good things for us, but not at the expense of His laws or the interest of others.
Love God
Loving and obeying the Lord is more important than our own personal happiness. He wants to be first in our lives and He deserves that position. There is no one wiser, more powerful, or more loving than Him. No one can compare.
You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wonderous deeds and your thoughts towards us. None can compare with You! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.
Psalm 40:5
Also, God has to think of every single person on earth and not just one. As my mom used to say, “The world doesn’t revolve around you.” His ways are best for everyone and for His kingdom as a whole, now and for eternity. That’s a pretty tall order and something that we must admit we have no power to know. Only God in His infinite wisdom can truly know what’s best for us all. Also, if God thinks of others, we too need to consider whether making ourselves happy, hurts someone else. Obviously in that case, our happiness is not of primary concern.
The Concerns of A Loving Father
Then, sometimes what makes us happy isn’t what’s best for us. I said earlier that every good and caring father wants his children to be happy. We may even say that is our primary concerns as parents. But we don’t really mean that. When we tell our children to do something, we expect them to obey whether they want to or not. If their happiness was our primary concern, then they could tell us that our rules are stupid and that we’re standing in the way of their fun and we’d have to concede. We all know that isn’t really what a loving parent does.
A loving parent looks out for the best interests of their children. Sometimes, what’s in their best interest is not what makes them happy in the moment. When we tell our children do something they don’t want to do, we are doing it because we think it is important. It isn’t because we don’t care about their happiness but we care more about them being safe, or learning an valuable lesson, or being healthy, or many other things that we are wise enough to know are best for them in the grand scheme of things.
So, when God’s rules conflict with our happiness, He wants us to obey. Not because He doesn’t care about our happiness, but because He cares about something else more.
Where We Find True Happiness
The problem is that we are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. A child may think that eating only cookies and ice cream will make them happy, and it may for a time. But soon they begin to gain weight and they don’t feel very good. They don’t know what’s good for them. That’s why God put older, wiser adults in charge of them. Loving parents don’t let their kids eat only cookies and ice cream just to make them happy. We give our kids what’s best for them, even if it doesn’t seem good to them at the time.
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
Matthew 7:11
The Things of This World
God says that if we are looking for happiness in this world, it will be temporary and futile. This is what King Solomon said about all the things he acquired in this world.
I made my works great. I built myself houses and planted myself vineyards, made myself gardens and orchards, and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them, made myself water pools form which to water the growing trees of the grove, and acquired male and female servants and had servants born in my house.
Yes, I had greater possessions of herds and flocks than all who were in Jerusalem before me. I also gather for myself silver and gold and the special treasures of kings and provinces. I acquired male and female singers, the delights of the sons of men, and the musical instruments of all kinds. So, I became great and excelled more than all who were before me in Jerusalem.
Also, my wisdom remained with me. Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure. For my heart rejoiced in all my labor and this was my reward for all my labor. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done, and on the labor in which I had toiled, and indeed, all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 2:4-11
The Best Treasures
Have you ever thought that if you had a lot of money then all your troubles would be over and you would be happy. Maybe once you are able to buy the big beautiful house, or have lots of land, or buy more of the things you want. Maybe you just wish you could hire someone to help you so you don’t have to work so hard. That would make you happy, wouldn’t it? If only you had the time and money to go places and do some fun things now and then. That would be a happy life, right?
But, Solomon had all those things, was the wisest man alive, and indulged himself in every way, and in the end he realized that it hadn’t brought him the happiness he was seeking.
That’s because the best treasures are not found here.
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21
Where Our Affections Lie
God wants our hearts and affections directed towards Him.
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
He wants to bless us with good things, but those things come through Him.
Charge them not to be haughty nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.
1 Timothy 6:17-19
A Quick Personal Story about Putting Ourselves Last
When my daughter was a preteen, she was upset about something one of her friends had said and she was telling me about it. Wanting her to take up for herself I said, “Why don’t you just tell her…” I don’t remember exactly what I said but apparently my daughter didn’t think it was very nice and through her tears she said angrily, “Because Mom, joy!” Confused I said, “Joy?” and she said, “Yes. J-O-Y. Jesus, Others, Yourself. JOY.” I tried so hard not to laugh. She was so angry about putting this girl’s feelings above her own, but she was going to do it because she knew she was supposed to. Such a sweet memory!
This is an excerpt from Episode 111 “Where Our True Treasures Lie” on Podcast and YouTube.
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